5 years. That’s how long it’s been since I walked down the aisle and became a wife. 5 years of bliss and utter craziness. Some days have been so hard, but most days have been absolutely wonderful. Josh and I are the first to tell you marriage hasn’t been easy. As always we try to stay open and honest in hopes that it may just help someone else out there.
5 years ago we literally jumped into marriage. We met in August 2006 in our first class of our junior year of college. We had an instant connection. A couple weeks later I went to watch one of his soccer games (he played for the school) and was walking over to tell him how awesome he did when I saw another girl jump into his arms. I was defeated. Thankfully I had a friend there to remind me he and I were just friends…hardly even that, we had JUST met. I had no idea how much I cared for him until that moment. I had told myself over and over that I wasn’t going to let it go anywhere…I didn’t want a boyfriend and I most certainly didn’t want to even think of having a SERIOUS relationship with anyone. I had been hurt, very badly, by a boy a couple years prior and I had decided that marriage and relationships weren’t for me (sidenote: that boy is a great guy, it’s just the two of us together were a disaster).
Oh how wrong I was.
On October 31 we became a couple (don’t worry Josh had broken up with his girlfriend shortly after that game…I’m not a boyfriend stealer!). We watched scary movies, carved pumpkins, and were quite attached to each other. It was moving so fast, but I just couldn’t help it, I knew he was the one for me.
On November 6 we both had written letters (unbeknownst to one another) stating that we loved each other.
Within a few days we both saw those letters and said it for real.
On December 21 (after a loooooooong flight back from Europe where I had been with friends) Josh took me to a dock on Capitol Lake in Olympia and got down on one knee.
I said YES!
On June 6, 2007 we were MARRIED.
Then life started. I had gone through some counseling to work through my past issues. I wanted to be proactive before we got married knowing that my past relationship was still very much a part of me. It wasn’t enough. God needed us to work through it together and break those barriers. The first year and a half was the hardest and worst time of my life in some ways. I’m so thankful it was Josh I was going through it with, but I was scared, hurt, and a complete mess. I said words I never thought I would say, I did things I never thought I would do…I didn’t even know who I was anymore. All of my past bubbled up into someone who was so hurt and confused that she couldn’t even let her own husband in. I was in my own dark world.
The good news is, this story has a happy beginning (we have many more years before I can say ending). After years of tears, counseling, reading, and lots and lots of prayer…we broke through the barriers. We started to understand our differences. We embraced them. The most important thing for us was that Josh never quit on me. I tried quitting..I wanted out (or so I thought). I just didn’t want to deal with the hard stuff. HE NEVER LEFT.
Our biggest advice to our friends as they get ready to walk down the aisle is always to stick it out. Don’t run. Don’t leave each other. Your marriage is sacred and needs to stay between you. And please, please, please don’t go back to your parents (unless of course there is a safety issue, but for that I think you’ll need even more help). We are asked to “leave and cleave” and honestly it hinders your relationship with your spouse and your family. I’m not trying to preach here, just telling you what we have learned so far.
If you are more of a reading type…we had great success with the Love Dare. It is hard, but we learned a lot.
Don’t feel bad if you have to go to counseling. Even if it’s the day after your wedding. Marriage isn’t easy. You are bringing two lives together.
Some of you may not have had a hard time adjusting to marriage and that’s awesome! I know those couples and love them dearly and am so thankful for great examples of what marriage can be like when we let go of our expectations and just enjoy the greatest bond we have on this earth.
If you want to chat more with me about our story or anything please don’t hesitate. thecrainsnest[at]gmail[dot]com. I am more than willing to share more…just not right here on the blog 🙂
We are a success story and want everyone else to be too. We believe so fully in marriage. Some days we wake up, look at one another, and just shake our heads in disbelief at how far we have come. Josh is a wonderful man, husband, and father…happy 5 years babe!
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