I have had to say “sorry” to Eden a lot these past few weeks. She is wanting to test the boundaries a bit more, but mostly my patience is running thin. I love my girl so much and it pains me when I let her down.
Lately, I have felt like my mom duties were lacking. Curious George was played one too many times, I didn’t take the time to read to her in the day, craft activities are pretty few and far between…basically I have felt like I was just one big complete failure. Yes, I am being hard on myself, and yet, while I am being honest, I know I am not giving her the best of me. So, after a little pow-wow sesh with the hubs, we figured out that having a little more structure and routine to our day may help Eden and I both. I loved teaching back when that was my major. For some reason though, I haven’t wanted to do that with Eden. I wanted to be able to just enjoy the day as it came. While that probably works for the majority of people, it turns out that I am not the best person I can be without some sort of routine. I have great intentions, but then it’s 9 p.m. and time to get Eden ready for bed and I have realized that the moments where I was truly engaged with her are pretty hard to remember.
Now I am having a hard time planning my schedule. There are so many things that I want to get done in a day. How do I get in a workout, quiet time with the Lord, shower, clean, do laundry, make 3 meals a day for the family, spend time with the husband I rarely see, and get good quality time with my daughter? I realize that I may be trying to fit too much into a day, and yet all these things are important. I didn’t even include some “me” time in there…but mostly because I realize I am seeing to need too much “me” time so I am trying to work on that selfish attitude I have lurking inside.
As you can see I am needing a bit of a release from all of this. If any of you have tips and tricks on how to fit everything in and not go crazy, please let me know! For now, it looks like Tot School is about to begin in this house…
**Sorry this is so late, we got to take a little trip up to Seattle over the weekend and I chose to stay away from the internet so my family could be my priority. It was a little tough, but I did it!
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